hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
