wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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