Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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