is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
