So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
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