im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
