Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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