Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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