Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
