just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
My dick has a subreddit
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
