I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
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so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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