there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
a search helicopter?!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize