Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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