for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My feet surprised me
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
