when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
