His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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