No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
