I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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