I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
