You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
