Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
