theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
