Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
