Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize