Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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