3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
