Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
