ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
