I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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