I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
So much Jack, so little girl.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
