You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
