Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
