You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
