We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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