I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
