At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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