Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(514): View more from Quebec

I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."

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(702): View more from Nevada

It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...

(775): View more from Nevada

yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.

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25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

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(216): View more from Ohio

Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch

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(205): View more from Alabama

We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten

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