Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??