Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.

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(760): View more from California

i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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(954): View more from Florida

Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.

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(905): View more from Ontario

110% paid for our cab with a lap dance

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(903): View more from Texas

We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit

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(256): View more from Alabama

I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.

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(614): View more from Ohio

The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??

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