Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
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that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
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If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.