saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
please come you make the beer taste better
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.