You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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