I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
