Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am spending my child support on dildos
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
