went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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