what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Welp...herpes.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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