I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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