He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
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