There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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