Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
