That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
