i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
