Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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