She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I've blown a few things in my day
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
