We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Sponge bath it is.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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