upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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