i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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