what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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