is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
