I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize