You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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