he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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