I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
