Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
