i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
