but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
