omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
